ISN’T THAT AWESOME!

My life is awesome. Now, I use this word, awesome, not as in awe of my life, but in awe of the recognition of my Creator. I notice that I keep using the word awesome in my life to describe everything. I use it to answer every call and express every sentiment. It’s like I don’t have an entire repertoire of adjectives at my disposal. But in actuality, what’s happening is that I’m so very grateful to see with the light of love. I am totally in wonder as to what will unfold next in my life; this day or hour, or even moment. On a clear day, you can see forever!!! IT AWESOME!!! I LOVE IT! Having said that, I want to note that I don’t know how it works for you. But boy, darkness creeps up on me, and before I realize it (way before) I’m not in my right mind and I can’t figure out what went wrong. It is astounding how completely complicated perception can make things seem. Now, I know you might be thinking about right now that the first clue should have been the idea that I could figure anything out, let alone ‘what went wrong’… But, for me, denial is surely an old comfortable shoe. Definitely the shoe is completely worn through on the sole and the stitching is falling apart at the seams, but something in my mind doesn’t want to do what it takes to break in a new pair… As painful as it is with all the rubble getting in and the frostbite and all, my mind’s capacity to ignore the facts amazes me… And that lack of presence effects everything. I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts… I bless everyone in every moment by my presence; my light and love. Or I damn everyone to misery by my lack of presence and regurgitation of the dirge of death… Awake~ I light the world through my right thinking. Asleep~ I see only shadows of nothingness… I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts. I wanted to talk about this cuz this morning during my meditation and lesson practice time; I began thinking of living in Vegas, and in particular, why it was that I loved living there, and what it was that crystallized my mind to loving it as a place/homestead, so much so that I didn’t want to give it up, even after the body had moved to the new location. And here’s the thing I saw. I gave over my life to God in absolute surrender of the self I’d made; admitting to complete and utter failure as a human being. I accepted whatever came. The miracle literally lifted my mind from form to content. The specifics of my life were completely irrelevant to me~ I wanted only to serve God. I knew I was only here to shine my light. I felt my presence was not only enough, but the essential ingredient in every situation. I associate Vegas with that beautiful time of freedom, light and love. Now here’s where it got tricky… In associating the bright, changeless, eternal presence of love with a time/space element placed my mind at the disposal of lower level or contracted thinking. Before I knew it I was having preferences, judgments and justifications and excuses and then fogging up my mind with denial about the same. And for quite some time I felt pretty darn good... all but for a sort of nagging feeling of off-ness… ‘Like a splinter in my mind’… The thing about making the decision to give your life to God, and listen to His Voice, is that you really can’t hang out in denial that you need forgiveness, for long, without that denial driving you mad. ”As this (the better way) recognition becomes firmly established, it becomes a turning-point. This ultimately reawakens spiritual vision, simultaneously weakening the investment in spiritual sight… “The alternating investment in the two levels of perception is usually experienced as conflict, which can become very acute. But the outcome is as certain as God. Spiritual vision literally cannot see error, and merely looks for the Atonement. All solutions the physical eye seeks dissolve. Spiritual vision looks within and recognizes immediately that the altar has been defiled and needs to be repaired and protected. Perfectly aware of the right defense it passes over all others, looking past error to truth. Because of the strength of its vision, it brings the mind into its service. This re-establishes the power of the mind and makes it increasingly unable to tolerate delay, realizing that it only adds unnecessary pain. As a result, the mind becomes increasingly sensitive to what it would once have regarded as very minor intrusions of discomfort”. So that splinter in my mind started driving me mad. And I recognized a restoration to right mind was needed… After all, “The children of God are entitled to the perfect comfort that comes from perfect trust…” Ahhhhh…. “The basic decision of the miracle-minded is not to wait on time any longer than is necessary. Time can waste as well as be was be wasted". Now here’s how groovy this is: I changed my mind. No more half measures; no more 99% I give 100% of my life to being the light of the world. I dedicate 100% to being a minister for God. I devote 100% of my presence to being truly helpful I accept 100% responsibility for everything. I offer 100% forgiveness. I love you ~100% I quit playing at salvation, and quit playing God and I accept the Atonement for myself~100% The Course tells me that the Holy Spirit needs happy learners… I say sign me up; where and when you will… I trust the means God has appointed… I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts ISN’T THAT AWESOME!